Months after his beloved father suddenly passed away, Tristan Palyha returned to the wrestling room at Bishop Ahr, where his personal transformation paralleled the biggest team turnaround in school history.
“My dad was probably the biggest supporter when I was wrestling,” Palyha said of his father, Steve, who died in April 2018. “He would always come to my matches. I would always talk to him afterward. That major support for me was gone. So whenever I would wrestle, I would think about him. It’s horrible that he’s not here, but I definitely remember everything he did and that definitely pushed me to give even more effort if I could.”
Palyha, who took up the sport for the first time as a sophomore and suffered through a 6-27 junior campaign while filling a hole out of necessity in the varsity lineup, helped the Trojans flip their team record from 3-19 in 2017-18 to 15-8 this past season.
“The big match for me was against Metuchen,” Palyha said, referring to Bishop Ahr’s 37-32 victory over the Bulldogs that enabled the Trojans to clinch the Greater Middlesex Conference Blue Division title with an unblemished 7-0 division record.
“I went out there and I knew I was wrestling a kid who was pretty decent, but close to my skill level. I didn’t win, but it felt good that I was able to hold out for six minutes (lose small) and contribute to the score.”
An outstanding student who graduated from Bishop Ahr with a 4.62 grade point average after taking honors and advanced placement courses, Palyha was named each quarter to the Principal’s List and Distinguished Honor Roll and was inducted into the National Italian Honor Society.
A guitar player who performed in Bishop Ahr’s musicals and concerts, Palyha also made time for community service, helping veterans, cleaning up school grounds, serving as a summer camp counselor’s assistant and volunteering at a food bank.
Our nonprofit is proud to announce that Palyha, who will study mechanical engineering at New York University, is the first of several recipients of the second annual Marisa Tufaro Foundation Greater Middlesex Conference Student-Athlete Scholarship.
“Tristan is a mature young man who is conspicuous for his sense of integrity, self-respect, responsibility and loyalty,” reads a letter of recommendation a Bishop Ahr administrator submitted on Palyha’s behalf. “He has a great sense of humor, is pleasant and confident. If past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, Tristan will make it in spades.”
Bishop Ahr head coach Nick Tonzola said Palyha should have been wrestling jayvee as a junior, but with the wrestling team’s roster thin, he was thrust into the varsity lineup, where he lost 27 of 33 bouts.
“This would have caused most wrestlers to give up,” Tonzola said. “He never complained, he never missed practice and his work ethic was second to none. It was because of these things that he received the Trooper Anthony Raspa Memorial Award at our school’s awards banquet.”
The prestigious award is named after a beloved 2008 Bishop Ahr alumnus and former New Jersey State Police Trooper who died four years ago while on duty.
“It was my first time wrestling varsity and it was a tough season, not only for the team, but also for me because I was wrestling a lot of experienced people from some really good teams,” Palyha said of winning the Raspa Award his junior season, during which Bishop Ahr wrestled a challenging schedule including perennial state powers South Plainfield, Howell and Hunterdon Central.
“I didn’t have a very good record but I came to every single practice and gave 100 percent effort every time. I made sure I was on weight every single match. When I received that award it was like, ‘Wow! I’m being recognized for everything even though I didn’t have the wins or this impressive record.’ It was nice that I got that award. I had no intention of wrestling when I came into high school. I was talking with my dad and we were toying around with the idea.”
Following the unexpected passing of Steve Palyha, Tonzola said he was unsure if Tristan, whose responsibilities at home increased, would return to the team as a senior. Palyha returned to the mat only to meet more adversity.
“He came out for the team and was immediately a leader with his work ethic and practice habits,” Tonzola said. “He set an example to the younger guys how to practice, how to keep up with your studies, how to act in school and in public. His leadership was instrumental with the complete turnaround of our team. He was off to a surprise start with an above .500 record when in practice he bumped heads (drilling with a teammate) and had to get eight staples (to close a gash).”
Palyha quickly returned to the mat but was eventually knocked out of the lineup and the practice room for the first time in his career following a nasty bout with the flu, which sidelined him for a week.
“He came back and was still not 100 percent but that did not keep him from a being a leader in practice,” Tonzola said. “I have been coaching and competing in wrestling for close to 40 years. I understand that it’s not the all-stars that make a team, that make a program. It’s the kids like Tristan Palyha – unselfish, dedicated and hard-working. He made himself a leader, he overcame adversity and he helped Bishop Ahr wrestling in its biggest turnaround season ever.”
Palyha said he received significantly more from wrestling with the Trojans than he was able to give to the Bishop Ahr program.
“I think we have one of the best wrestling programs in New Jersey if not the country,” Palyha said, referring to the amount of support he and his teammates receive on and off the mat. “The entire atmosphere with practices, the motivation and guidance the coaches give you is just incredible.
“I think it’s a really good thing I was a part of it. I feel like I wouldn’t have lived up to my potential in high school if I didn’t do wrestling.”
Tonzola said “Tristan will be a success in all that he endeavors” and that “Tristan will always hold a special place in my heart forever.”
Our nonprofit respects the privacy of all our award recipients, some of who may not feel comfortable publicly divulging any or all of the details regarding the adversity they have overcome.